On this episode I answer listener questions, from dry hair to jealous hair stylists

Episode Overview

Full Transcript

Welcome back to the Snatched edges podcast. I'm your host Ebuni and here we learn about healthy hair, healthy scalp, how to grow your hair, how to stop breakage, all of that good stuff. How you guys doing. March is finally finally upon us, and the beast from the east is out here and making it snow in London, I'm not leaving my house for the next you know forever until this goes away and sunshine, but anyways I'm here with a Q&A episode. 

I asked you guys last week to send me your questions and thank you for everyone that DM me, that emailed me, that got in contact  that I had conversations with. So yeah, I'm gonna jump straight in, answer your questions, I don't have any of your names or anything I wanted to keep you all anonymous I didn't know if you wanted your business out there like that. But if you asked me a question I'm gonna answer it. So yeah, let's get into it.

Okay, Question one:  'I am thinking about going natural, but I think I have for 4C hair. Is there any way to tell what your texture will be beforehand'.

Now, this person, this young lady has got relaxar, she's on that creamy crack, and she's thinking about going natural but doesn't know what her texture is, and is worried about being 4C hair. Now my thing with this is, what does it really matter what texture your hair is, if you want to go natural like I think what you need to  think about is why you want to go natural in the first place. Like what is your reasoning behind it like, do you only want to go natural if you have a certain hair type. I don't really, as I said before, I don't really subscribe to hair typing because everyone's got loads of different hair types on their hair, so you might have 4C in the back and 4B in the front or 3C, it really really doesn't matter, as long as your hair is healthy. That is what you need to know. In terms of finding out what texture you had beforehand. I'm guessing that you've seen what your hair looks like  you know the regrowth, or  you weren't relaxed from birth so maybe there's pictures, you can kind of tell from pictures back in the day,  but that shouldn't you from wanting to go natural because you might have a thicker or coarser curl pattern and you just have to learn to accept it, like, learn how to look after it, and you will be all good. So yeah, don't worry about what your hair texture is just embrace it, find people that can help you find other girls who have your hair texture or guys. And, yeah, learn what works for you but definitely if you want to go natural you think about doing a big chop holla at me.

Question two: 'I have shoulder length hair but it keeps breaking and won't any longer. What can I do'. 

Okay, well, if your hair keeps on breaking you have to figure out what the cause of the breakage is. So, is it that you wear your hair down all the time and it's catching maybe on your clothes I know it's wintertime. So we're wearing scarfs and stuff ,  is the cotton or the material on your collar, that's maybe breaking your hair, what's your routine, how do you look after it, maybe go in for more protective styles where your ends are tucked away. So maybe instead of leaving your head down you have it in a bun or you do braids or twists or extension something that, you know, keeps your hair out of your hands. What is the problem, you need to kind of go back, look at your routine. And just maybe keep like a hair journal or something you know. During wash days, are you losing a lot of hair then, is it shedding from the roots, can you see roots on the hairs that you're losing, is it only just like little pieces that are breaking off, or is it that maybe you're combing it too much or too vigorously rather. So is it breaking when you do something to it, or is it that you just are seeing hair everywhere, but definitely try and find out the root cause because that will be the key to unlocking how to treat it. It depends on what's behind it.

So yeah, not much I can do for you in that sense without finding out what the problem is. Do your research and figure out what the issue is. Is it your diet? Have you been sick recently? What's going on with you. Hopefully you can figure it out.

Question three. 'I wear wigs and weaves but have natural hair. I want to rock it more but I'm worried about people at work who ask loads of questions'. 

Hmm, The work one. Okay, so you wear wigs and weaves, but you have natural hair underneath, and you want to rock it more. But you're worried that people at work will ask loads of questions. People are going to ask questions, whatever it is that you do. I'm sure when you change up your weave or your wigs. They've got questions about you know, you've changed your style. You can't let other people dictate to you, how and what you do with your body and your hair you just kind of have to, you know, do what makes you feel comfortable. Of course, in the beginning they might be curious, you don't have to feel obliged to answer the questions because unless you are a hairdresser or a hairstylist your hair isn't their business. And even then, just tell them to focus on their work. But yeah, you can use it as a bit of a time to educate them a little bit, or if not just don't worry about it. Girl do your thing man. Don't let no one stop you from rocking the hair how you want to feel Yeah, give it a try. I'd love to see pictures of you  trying out new things, what kind of styles, did you have in mind. That's what I want to know. 

Question four; I'm kind of speeding through these quite quickly. I'm sorry if I am  giving you guys a quick answers. It's not like I don't know. It's hard to answer the question sometimes because if I don't have pictures or if I can't see you face to face and really go in depth. It really is hard like to do consultations without having the person in front of you because I might need to know a little bit more about your routine, your health, I need to touch and feel your hair because certain issues that you may feel that you have, I will not see it  as an issue so you might think, for example this question, 'my hair is dry what products can I use'. So a lot of people tell me that their hair is dry, and when I feel it I am  like your hair is not  dry babes, it's really just fine. Like afro hair  it doesn't have a lot of luster, it doesn't have a lot of shine naturally, so it looks duller than other hair types, but doesn't mean that your hair is necessarily dry. Like how does it actually feel, are you using  moisturising products, so what products are you using at the moment, how do you shampoo, is your shampoo, like do you use a clarifying shampoo that strips the natural oils of it, are you only putting oils on your hair that can stop water and moisture penetrating.  do use a lot of gels, is your heating on all the time, do you wear a headscarf to bed. You know, what are you doing, not to say that you're doing something wrong, but it's all about routine. So if you feel like your hair  has kind of gone a bit wayward or you're not really too sure what's happening you have to kind of strip it back and think, okay, what's my routine like, Am I taking all the steps that I need to. And if you are not sure what steps you should be taking, send me an email, I will send you my free healthy hair challenge, and it goes through all the products you should be using on your hair. The techniques to keep your hair hydrated, keep it moisturised, keep it grow in, you know, if you've got a particular problem so do you have problems with your scalp. Do you have problems with length retention or breakage? Are you just not sure what you should be eating, are you taking supplements, are you on any medications, there's loads of factors that go into the health of your hair. And so it's really good to kind of take stock and figure out where you are on your journey and be like okay cool, this is my goal. What steps do I have to take to get there? All right then. 

Question five: 'I need more simple style ideas for after wash day to stretch it, but don't want to use heat'. 

This is a great one. So, I don't like using heat on my hair like, I think, in the time I've been natural I probably blow dried it maybe three times, and only straightened it like twice, just cause I wanted to see how long my hair was. I didn't even wear it out for longer or anything. I kind of just wear it straight away. So, for me, after wash day, I put my hair into flat twist or mini twists  straightaway. I am known for wearing my hair and twisting it out or in a big Afro. And so yeah, that's just the way I dry my hair so once this detangled, I will section my hair into four and then each section goes into maybe two or three more smaller sections depending on if I'm doing flat twists or mini twists. If you don't know how to flat twist or do a mini twist braid, there's loads of tutorials on YouTube. You can do the banding method where it's like you can use elastic bands or don't really like using elastic bands, so i use little hairbands ones that don't have a metal end that are kind of like material the whole way around, and you can use that and place your hair and band so it stretches it naturally. You can put your hair into a thread. So it's like an old African method where you wrap the thread around your hair and it stretches it naturally and you take it out you could even have a cool little twist out. 

What else could you do to twist your hair, or stretch your hair rather,  there's actually some em, their called, I think, SSS plates, and they look really cool they're kind of like clips, like, I'll put a picture up on my Instagram. They're like flat plates with like a clip over it and you lay your head down there, and you clip it over and it stretches your head that way. So it gives you a kind of like a blowout look without any of the heat. You can use flexi rods or perm rods. 

That's about five different ways you can stretch your hair. There's loads of ways. And then, even if you like try and style it so if you have your hair in a bun, maybe you can stick it up into the bone and then do little twists or flats on the end so the ends of your hair still have like some volume. But I style my hair from wet. Some people don't like doing that but I feel that if I don't stretch it while it's wet, the shrinkage comes and I'm just, I just can't be bothered to have to deal with it afterwards. So try and do your hair maybe when it's damp and go from there. 

Question. What question number, am I on number six. Okay. 'I have locs but want to do a big chop when is the best time to cut your hair'. 

All right, you are a woman after my own heart. I am very very scissor happy,  when is the best time to cut your hair? Anytime you feel like cutting it. There is no best time per se, unless you don't want to be cold, because that's what happens when you cut your hair, your neck and your ears are going to feel cold they're going to be exposed to the elements, and maybe winter isn't the best time to do it, although sometimes I fill like winter is good because if you want to completely start getting that do a big chop go down to level one level two. You can wear loads of hats, you can wear headscarf so it kind of like gives you a little bit of a break in. So you don't have to have your head exposed all the time. And if you're like a little bit shy about it, or if you want to wait a little while so don't have your locs retwisted for maybe like two, three, four however long months, and then put it at where the new growth is so you have a little bit more hair to work with. So yeah, cut your hair girl. Let me see. I think everybody should cut the hair. I'm really an advocate for baldies. I spent a lot of time as a Baldie, I've only just started growing mine out. And I feel like I might join you guys again soon. So yeah,  any day is a good time to cut your hair, any day, do it, do it, do it. 

Alright Question seven: 'I am a guy with natural hair, it's only short but my family is always telling me to cut it because they say it looks messy and I won't get a job. How do I explain to them that it's just my texture and I'm not cutting it'. 

Shout out, to all the guys with natural hair who are just rocking their hair with no care in the world, but their family are being ops. I feel your pain. I feel like coming from an African family, they like you to have that clean cut, they want you to have it low, they want your beard to be shaved you can't have any facial hair your hair can't be longer than you can pick it with your fingers, and I don't know where that came from. I don't know what the reason is behind it. They say that it doesn't make you look professional, but I see, like you know, every Tom, Dick and Harry is allowed to have his little curly comb over whatever they do,  They like to have their beard, their moustaches, they can do whatever. As soon as a black boy does, there is like a whole different connotation. And even styles like dreadlocks, a lot of boys are now growing out their hair. You know I feel like cane rows had its time. And maybe people are not really fond of guys with cornrows or plaits anymore, but definitely there's like a renaissance of boys with dreads and I am here for it. So, as long as you're working you can pay your own bills, then you can do what you want with your hair. If you are unemployed at that moment, then maybe look to find, I don't know, because I don't feel like your hair should stop you from getting work, but like is your hair actually messy. Like when they say that they just like looking out for you, or is it that your hair...because you said to a texture so I'm guessing you have got. I don't want to assume, what kind of hair you've got, because I don't know if some people say all kinds of stuff. Yeah, there's ways to like you know look after your hair and make sure that it doesn't prevent you from getting a job, but just tell them that you're going to do what you want. I guess if you're in your parents house, or if you're in a family's house and they are paying for your rent paying for your food, then you kind of have to do what they say, but if you are out on your own living your life, you know, there's no debt collectors after you you're not going to be on 'can't pay we'll take away', then fam do what it is that you are doing. Don't let anybody stop you, because they are not paying your bills, and as long as it's not affecting your money, you're calm, you know. Maybe educate them on your texture so that could be like a conversation for you guys to have. show them examples of people with your hair type hair texture, prospering in the industry that you want to work in, to show that maybe you know, look, this person has done it, they look like me. Why not me then Why can I not do it. So yeah, that is my answer for you. 

Question number eight: 'My mom is losing her hair but won't stop getting tight braids and extensions How can I convince her to cut off and start again'. 

Okay, mommy is losing her hair because of tight braids and extensions. It's hard with parents, you know, or people that are stuck in their ways, because if someone doesn't want to accept they have a problem, there's not much that you can do. And maybe she might be getting the braids and extensions because she's trying to cover up maybe the hair loss. But if you are concerned that the person she's going to is actually damaging her hair, you need to find her an alternative. So you try to convince her to cut off and start again. Maybe she's just like no, I'm not gonna be out here with short hair, whatever, it might highlight the problem, even more. So could you like maybe do you go to a different hairdresser than her or could you talk to her hairdresser and say look, I'm concerned that she's losing her hair in these places, could you, you know, give her some options. Could she like maybe wear wigs or something for a little while, or find other styles that are suitable so maybe, could you like kind of take care of a hair I don't know if you can braid or do hair yourself, but find somebody who's good with hair loss in your area, or who's a good stylist who isn't going to compromise her hair. By giving her styles that are actually cause her hair damage when, when people say kind of they haven't started again, a kind of, it's not always a good thing to cut your hair and start again because if you cut it that doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to trigger your hair to start growing again. It's more about what you're doing to stop it, the reason that is breaking. So if the cause is tight braids and extensions, that is what she needs to do, that's what she needs to cut out, not necessarily her hair. She could keep her hair, how it is, we just find her styles to camouflage the hair loss and make sure that she's not getting tight braids especially if it's like around her hairline or the crown. So you just work with her be easy if I'm sure it's like a soft spot. Note, like having issues of hair loss can really affect your self esteem. And so you might think that she's being stubborn but she's made me quite embarrassed about it, and you highlighting it to her and being on her case is just making her feel more self conscious. So you know just be gentle with her, try and maybe show her like 'oh you know mummy, this is how I do my hair, this is what i am doing to keep my hair growing, to keep it long' you know, maybe that can be like a little mother daughter time you guys have, that you bond over hair and you show her slowly and gently, how to have a better routine, rather than being like 'oh mummy you need to cut your hair because it's falling out' . Sometimes the hard way isn't always the best way. You know, sweet her a little bit, show her that you care about her because I am sure that you do. 

Question number nine: 'I want to colour my hair but I'm worried about damage and a changed my colour pattern. Are there any alternatives to bleach, that are less harsh'. 

Alright, I am a colour fanatic, I love colouring my hair, but, when you colour your hair you are going to damage it in some way shape or form. Now, there's bonds in your hair, and whenever you use like a chemical on it. I think around like 20% of those bonds get damaged every time. But, if you think about it like in the long term, that's not really like a big proportion. And if it's done correctly by a professional, I have said it time and time again. Don't buy home dyes, unless you are a hairdresser don't dye your hair at home don't let any of your brethren do it for you, don't go and buy 40% bleach and be like, 'I'm gonna get silver hair I'm gonna be like storm I'm gonna go you know go blonde by myself'. You'll end up looking like an idiot because, you're gonna damage your hair if you do it by yourself, go to a professional who does this who has the tools, who can assess your hair's integrity first, because you may want to colour your hair but your hair may not be in a position right now to be coloured. You may need to do some treatments beforehand to get into the right state first and  colouring your hair isn't as simple as okay cool, boom I'm going to go choose my colour get it done, and I'm good I'm Gucci I can go on and live my life. Now there's like steps you have to take first, you have to use correct shampoos, you have to use the correct conditioners the correct products that maintain your hair because it doesn't have to change your curl pattern, it doesn't have to do a lot of damage to your hair, but you have to treat it differently. So you don't have to bleach your hair as well when you colour. It depends what colour you want to go to. So, if you have got dark hair. You can probably go two shades lighter or darker without using any kind of strong really strong chemicals, you can use like a semi permanent colour, but if you want to go more than two shades, away from your colour. That's when you have to start getting into bleach or using stronger peroxides to kind of lift that colour out of your head first, before you can see another colour on top of it. Again, if this is going to over your head it's because it needs to be done by a professional there, it is a science, it's a skill, people train to do this and colours can apart from damage to your hair. A lot of people have allergic reactions to colours, so make sure if you are going to go against my advice and colour at home or even if you go to a professional make sure they do a colour test on you. do a patch test where they apply a little bit of colour onto your skin somewhere usually like your elbow or behind your ear, and leave it for like 20 to 48 hours depending on the brand. See if you have a reaction. If you do, I beg you stay away from colour because it can be so dangerous, as in fatal If you have a reaction and you go ahead and colour. Also, have you ever had henna on your hair before? Have you ever had any reactions to colour or product so that before? Is your hair relaxed? Do you have any issues with your scalp? These are all things to consider before you get colour, maybe start with like a washout, a non permanent colour so like a vegetable dye, where like just deposits colour on your hair, rather than actually taking anything out first. So you know, there's ones that only last like maybe six to eight washes or something like that and then it fades out.  Start there, and see if you like first. If you are committed to it, by all means book an appointment with a specialist and go ahead do your thing. Summer is a great time to like, you know, change up your look and add a little bit of colour to your hair just make sure you're doing it properly.

Okay, Question number 10: This is a final question. I actually had so much jokes reading this one. So it says; 

'My hairdresser always wants to cut my hair. It is really long and I think she's jealous of me. I know I have split ends, but I think she's been extra. Should I just let her cut it or stand my ground'. Fam, If you can't trust your hairdresser, I beg you to leave her innit. Like it's long to be paying somebody that you think is just out to get you. So you say you have really long hair, and you've got split ends. Your split ends are not going to heal themselves, split ends have to be cut out like there's no two ways about it, any product that tells you all you know we repair split and damage, it's a lie. You have to cut your split ends, otherwise they will just continue to split further and further up your hair shaft until they reach a scalp. Now i know this is an exaggeration but trust me split ends, they have to go. You have to cut them out the same way with like knots in your hair as well. Like Fairyknots, they have to be cut out, you can't get rid of them, any other way, apart from scissors. So I feel like your hairdresser is just trying to help you. But if you feel like she is jealous of you, you don't have to stay with her, you know, you are not married, you can leave her it's not a lengthy process. It's not like a guy with their barber, just bounce, find somebody else. But then I would have another hairdresser, you know, Consultations are free. Have someone else look at your hair and be like, yeah, I feel like you need a cut because some people have length, but they don't have health. So, their hair will reach their waist. A couple of their strands will but the rest of their hair is sitting pretty on their shoulders, and they're like, No, no, my hair is waist length it's like babes. It's see through. You know, I can see you I can see your shoulders, I can see your back through your hair. You need to behave, you need to cut it. So maybe she is jealous of you. If she is getting rid of her. Go to somebody else in your area there's loads of hairdressers around that are out to help you hairdressers are not scissor happy. We know what healthy hair looks like so we tried to help you. People are scared of scissors, and they will fight you and tell you, oh, you know just trim off like you know, a millimetre today when they really need an inch gone, and they think that we're pressuring them. We're just trying to make sure that your damage doesn't get any further. We want you to have a full head of hair. That's what we're trying to do so babes I don't know if she's jealous of you. But, you know, Give it, give it a cut if she's trying to tell you to take off you know a good portion maybe like more than five inches. There should be a reason for it and if you or somebody else can't see it then. I agree with you, let that go. But if you can put your hand under your hair and your hair is not thin. And you can't see it through like you know like sometimes when you consider a good cut like you know the hair is all even. It doesn't look gappy there's not like a lot of layers internally that aren't intentional, then you're alright, but if your hair looks a bit hmm hmm. And you said you have split ends, you know, your hair is going to grow if you've got really long hair already you know that you're doing something right. So, let her do her thing, maybe find a little middle ground and see but I think maybe you if you just want to find a new hairdresser you need my permission, you've got it you've got my blessing and move on. So that was my q&a section. Thank you again for everybody that sent in questions. Again, as I said, it is hard to answer some of your questions without seeing your hair. That's why I feel like, you know, find a good hairdresser in your area.  Book an appointment with me if you like, we can meet up, we can discuss all things here we can talk to your regime, all of that good stuff. But yeah, trust the people who are in your hair. Don't let anybody tell you that you know your hair is ugly, nasty, is messy and nappy unless they're paying your bills and even then take their money and don't take their advice. 

I'm going to leave it there, follow me on instagram.com/Ebuniajiduahhair. My website is Ebuniajiduah.com. send me an email, send me a DM I'm here to help you guys, and I'll see you on the flip side, alright peace.